1st off, I want to thank all of you for your birthday wishes, you all really made me smile.
My kitties never did bring me any rats, lizards or birds, but the new puppy makes tons of shit for me, dangit.
Have decided Mr. Wonderful is the shit. He remembered me telling him a while back that I think Kathy Griffin is fucking hilarious. Not only is she loud, she uses lots of filthy language, which I really identify with. She also says some serious shit to celebrities and I really dig that. Should be a fun night.
Surprised me with gift certificates too, 1 for a mani/pedi and had girl spawn give it to me as her gift, and a facial…love that pampering shit, don’t you?
I don’t think women usually get facials unless someone else give you one as a gift. I know for years I didn’t do shit for myself, could not afford it and if I ever did have extra money, it went for the kids, as it should.
Anyway, back to Mr. Wonderful being the shit. He left his job at 1030 in the morning, came to my office and had lunch with me. When I left to go home, I discovered balloons tied to my car. I really just wanted to stay home, have some wine, watch a movie, have some wine, eat popcorn, have some wine, voh dee oh doh and go to bed.
Such a party animal, huh?
He was going to make me dinner, but I told him not too since we are in the middle of a really bad heatwave. If he turned the oven on I was going to smack the shit outta him.
Took me to a little fish place we like then to a movie I really wanted to see. Smuggled in my road warrier, a shitload of sangria in a big ol plastic Starbucks cup…in my purse…a big ass purse.
Go see “SPY” with Melissa McCarthy. Fucking hilarious and I could not stop laughing. I don’t understand why this movie kinda came and went-we saw it at the local cheap theatre. Lots and lots of language and a shot of a weenie (flashed by so fast I did not see anything but skin, darnit. Please, if you’re gonna have dickage in a movie, lemme see it, ya know?)
When we got home, I took my glass of wine outside and kicked back in a chair. Yes, I switched to an actual “real” glass, smaller, but tastes better, dontcha think?
Then Mr. Wonderful came outside w/girl spawn carrying a cupcake with a candle in it, started singing…and promptly knocked over my “real” glass of wine.
Shit…forget all the glass on the ground, it was an entire damn glass of sangria!
Regrouped, cleaned up glass, got new one, back to chair, cupcake lit again and sang me “Happy Birthday”.
I am not a chocolate lover, and no, I am not a communist, it just aint my thing. I’m also not really into cakes and pies. This is actually really wonderful, my ass would be Ginormous if I liked all that shit, ya know?
Spice cake cupcake with cream cheese frosting…he made them… by himself…in the heat.
Mr. Wonderful is definitely in touch with his feminine side. I LOVE that about him.
I had a really nice birthday. Can’t wait for 50, gonna have a big ass wingding at the house. You’re all invited of course.
Soooo…today’s lesson is simple…Always drink your alcohol out of a plastic glass.
It’s a grown up weekend , girl spawn will be picked up by Mr. Piece of shit, aka: shitbag, asswipe, dickwad, fuckface, fucktard, dickless wonder, hopeless loser, schmuck, asshole, prick, dipshit,sperm donor, loser, waste of space, douche, hemorrhoid, you know, the ex-husband.
Tonight:….Relax with Mr. Wonderful, hit bed early (more voh dee oh doh-ing, dontcha know)
Hey! Don’t give me any crap about being a horndog either! I waited a long time to find a victim, uh, I mean a man. Besides, I’m not getting any younger, ya know? I’m not only making up for lost time, I’m tryin to get in as much humpage as I can before the following:
A. Too old and tired
B. Dried up old menopausal pooky
C. Mr. Wonderful unable to get perky, if ya know what I mean
D. Desire is gone…OH GOD NOOOO, please don’t let that ever
Tomorrow: Spending the day at the fair with crazy glamping friends who make me laugh my ass off. You may remember them, UPS and Prado, Prince Albert and Roxy. Love the fair, so much fun, tons of food, rides, booths with cool shit and well, hey…alcohol…Wow…starting to sound a bit like a lush, lol
Sunday: Church. Have not been in weeks and miss hearing the amazeballs Pastor and seeing the wonderful people there. Dig me some church!
Go have an awesome weekend with wine, lots of laughing, wine, family, wine, friends and lots of voh dee oh doe-ing!