Gawd I am so fuckin clueless about computer website shit! So…here I am, stuck at home like everyone else & I decided I should get my ass back on the horse with my website! I was so jazzed to launch the damned thing but life just kinda got in the way so I’ve neglected it. Work, children of the corn, Mr. Wonderful, cookin, cleanin, wine drinkin!
Anyway…so…the biggest change here for me is tryin to figure out how to post shit again! I have my fabulous Dimon, who helped me create this website, but not only is he in Ukraine, I am poor, like we all are!
About a month ago I decided I needed to get off my fat ass and start bloggin here again, start up my store and get er done! I think everyone here knows that I’m a strong supporter of the LGBTQ community and how much I dig partyin at Long Beach pride. Well…I decided to jump start BOCL with somethin I have dreamed of doin for the last 3 years… A float in the Pride parade. How cool huh? So…great idea in theory but I discovered pretty quickly that I couldn’t afford to do it for Long Beach Pride parade but I could for OC Pride parade. Started makin plans, sketchin out the float, buggin my friends about partyin on my float and I was gettin super fuckin jazzed. Not only could I grow my BOCL more, but I can support a cause that’s near and dear to me and party my fat ass off at the same time…
Yeah…Coronavirus! It pretty much fucked it all up and I know that sounds really shitty and self absorbed given that so many people are sick and have died and I really don’t mean it to sound like that. This shit is scary and I’m irritated as hell with people who say dumb shit like “Oh my gawwdd, it’s just the flu”….No dumbass, it aint the flu, not by any means. So much has changed for all of us. Bein on lockdown, kids home from school buggin the shit outta us. Money tight, no fuckin toilet paper to be had which really pisses me off royally. I have wine….I’m a happy girl if I have the vino…
I’ve broken the shit down to 10 of the key words and phrases we’ve all been usin for the last 30 days or so…
- Social distancing-who the hell came up with this? It sounds so…formal.
- Corona virus- is this supposed to be 2 words or just 1 cuz I see it both ways.
- Covid 19-so…once ya get the Corona virus it turns into this…yeah…fuck, can’t we just have 1 damned name for this shit?
- Toilet paper-aka ass wipe or TP. It’s replaced the dollar and if ya got it you’re truly lucky, if ya don’t you’re usin old napkins, paper towels (if you can find em) or ya bought a bidet (if you could find one)
- Water-the tree of life, right? Not durin a fuckin pandemic. People have lost their shit (careful, no TP) buyin up all the bottled water they can find and I hate those people. Ok, buy some bottled water just in case, but good ol fuckin tap is just fine with me, I add it to my Brita and I’m good to go.
- Cross contamination-geez…who knew we’d be usin this in a sentence, right? Ya gotta change your gloves every damn time you touch one thing and then touch somethin else. Fuckin impossible. I put the gloves on when I go into the store and then when I get to the car, I slather antibacterial shit all over em and then wipe my steering wheel and door handle with the goop.
- Gloves-ya gotta have em….lots of em…see number 6…
- Face mask-eeesh….there are so many different ones, different guidelines. I’m wearin the tough biker lookin black one that kinda looks like a gas mask that I use when I’m ridin the RZR. What can I say, black goes with everything.
- Online learnin- holy shit…some of you have had to learn how to be teachers and you’re in hell tryin to figure out math (it NEVER looked like this when we were younger, right?) or if you’re like my girl spawn, she sits in her room pretendin to do her work on her school issued chrome book but I suspect she’s dickin around watchin Tik-tok half the time.
- Liquor store-See numbah 9…you’re gonna need lotsa wine! Also reference numbah 4…if ya can’t find TP you can always shove the cork up your ass!
All kiddin aside…I hope you’re all hangin in there. For those of you who are sick, I am so sorry and I hope you feel better soon. For those of you who have lost loved ones, please know you are in my prayers.