It is a wonderful thing to have friends. It’s an amazeballs feeling to know that there are other nutjobs just like you who will tolerate you, hold your hand when you are feelin shitty, laugh with you, cry with you and of course, eat, drink and be merry with you.
I have had some pretty wonderful friends in my lifetime and I have also had shitty friends that are no longer my friends.
Like the two friends I was super close with when Mr. Piece of shit left.
You remember Mr. Piece of shit?… aka shitbag, asswipe, dickwad, fuckface, fucktard, dickless wonder, hopeless loser, schmuck, asshole, prick, dipshit,sperm donor, loser, waste of space, douche, hemorrhoid….you know…the ex-husband.
I love Mr. Piece of shit’s nicknames. It also makes me laugh and feel all warm and fuzzy inside that Mr. Piece of shit found out about this blog…asshole.
Anyway, I’m not friends with either of those ladies anymore and it really sucked to lose both of them. I had known each for over ten years.
One of them decided we couldn’t be friends anymore because she lost a lot of weight and said she wanted to go out and party and we really didn’t have anything in common since I had an 8 year old and a 2 year old. Uhhh..bitch, we were good enough for you when you were a big girl. I remember telling her she could borrow my clothes now and she got a little snotty about that, saying that her style was different than mine.
We were super close and the children of the corn loved her, especially girl spawn. She pretty much moved in to my house and did everything with us.
It was crazy-I was her friend when she was heavy and did everything I could to support her and build up her self-esteem, but as soon as she dropped the weight, we were done. After I was done being hurt, I was super pissed off, not just for me, but for the children of the corn. It was just one more person in their life who left them, ya know? Losing her friendship felt very similar to being dumped by Mr. Piece of shit.
The other good friend started having an affair with a married man and when she asked me what I thought, I told her I was disappointed in her and I felt sorry for his wife who had a nervous breakdown over the loss of her marriage. She told me I wasn’t a good friend and didn’t want to see me anymore.
Well shit, you asked what I thought, I wasn’t gonna lie…asshole.
Then she and the other friend started going out to parties and hanging out together.
Fuck ya both.
Now here’s the thing. I don’t condone sleeping with a married man, but it aint my business. I am your friend. I’m not perfect, neither are you. Whether there are circumstances like separation, or staying married for your kids, or whatever, it’s not for me to judge you. But if you are sneakin around and you ask me my opinion of the situation you’re in, I’m gonna give it and my opinion might be that you suck. Or maybe you don’t ask for my opinion and I am just gonna slowly back away from our friendship, I dunno, every situation is different. I would hope my friends would give me their opinion if I ask for it, ya know?
I always want to believe that people will be honest and good and I want to believe my friends can tell me if there is a problem so I don’t sit with my thumb up my ass wondering what the hell happened?
I know it’s hard to believe, (riiigghttt), but occasionally I have opened up my big ol’ trap and said something that hurt someone. I can tell you this; it’s unintentional and when it’s pointed out, I will apologize and do everything I can to make it right. I can be a big dumbass at times, like we all can.
So even though I lost those two friends, I can say this; at least they had the balls to tell me why we were not gonna be friends anymore instead of me wondering what happened.
Have you ever had someone who you thought was your friend just dump you without explanation?
At first, I just chalked it up to her being busy, but ya know, social media makes it really easy to see all those fun things you’re not invited to.
First, bewildered, second hurt, third, angry, then hurt all over again.
Some serious fuckery here.
See, if I’m your friend, I’m gonna be your friend, period. If you piss me off or hurt me, I don’t want to read about it in your damn diary 5 years later. I will tell you and because we are friends, I will hope that our friendship will continue, but if for some reason it doesn’t, at least I afforded our friendship the respect I think it deserves by opening up my fucking mouth and telling you what’s up.
If you’re reading this, you know who you are…don’t be a weenie, I miss you and yours and so does Mr. Wonderful.
I’m bummed out.
Point me in the direction of the nearest wine bottle.