A bit of a whiny-ass rant now…I need to get it out as much as I can so I don’t barf it up on boy spawn when I see him.
When I originally wrote the below blog about what was happening to boy spawn, it was for this website. But I knew I could reach more people on Facebook, so I posted it there and started up a shitstorm to try and help boy spawn.
I will leave tomorrow to go see boy spawn graduate from the Marine Corp in San Diego, Ca. I feel many emotions; pride, excitement, love and I gotta say…I’m also feelin a little pissed off and kinda hurt.
It took me several hours to write the below because I wanted to have all my facts straight. After writing it, I contacted and sometimes spoke with several local San Diego news agencies, ABC news, CBS news and NBC news. I met with my local mayor, I blogged on my Facebook, I tweeted, I harassed a congressman’s office, went to a Colonel’s house on base and not only cried like a baby, but begged him to please help my son. I snuck around and went to the big cheese on base, the Brigadier General’s house twice, and left a note on his door. I called multiple people on the base; chaplains, two Sergeant Majors, assorted Senior Drill Instructors, a Lieutenant Colonel, Drill Instructors, a Captain and I contacted both our state senators (Boxer and Feinstein and neither one ever even responded, wow, suck it bitches) I contacted President Obama and Mrs. Obama, CNN news and my local KTLA news. I contacted boy spawns recruiter and some of his teachers and his old Principal. I contacted the Inspector Generals office and spoke at length with them. I got my church involved and they all prayed. Our priest wrote a beautiful letter of support to be presented for boy spawn to use at trial, since apparently he was headed for a hearing where a determination would be made about booting him out. I didn’t sleep much at night from worry, got in trouble at my job for spending too much time on the phone and cried buckets of tears. I spent several hundreds of dollars on movies to send boy spawn to watch with his platoon mates, protein bars (damned expensive) crackers, beef jerky and snacks. All were sent in the mail after I hand painted the inside of the boxes to cheer boy spawn up.
When Mr. Wonderful and I visited after begging the shithead Lieutenant Colonel we brought you 2 lunches and when you told us the tiny little 8″ TV DVD player was broken, Mr. Wonderful and I purchased a DVD player and hand delivered it to the base so you and the boys in your platoon would have something to do. We came back on base without an invitation and only after charming the guys at the front gate. We were both a little nervous about the MP’s pulling us over, but we both were so determined to make you happy.
In short, I worked my ass off and pissed a lot of people off, all with my trusty sidekick, Mr. Wonderful by my side.
Why then would my feelings be hurt or why would I be pissed?
He has called Mr. Piece of shit, aka shitbag, ass wipe, dickwad, fuck face, fucktard, dickless wonder, hopeless loser, schmuck, asshole, prick, dipshit, sperm donor, loser, waste of space, douche, hemorrhoid… you know… the ex husband multiple times on the phone and sent him multiple letters.
I have 2 small letters and some questionnaires I sent him that he filled out and sent back. That’s what I’ve received in 9 months. I even sent him a book of stamps and self addressed envelopes.
On my birthday, 9/10, can you guess who he called? Mr. Piece of shit. I did receive letter #2 that day and it made me very happy, but seriously ya turd? You couldn’t even call on my damn birthday, you called him?
When boy spawn contacted me on that Friday, he was scared and looking for help, telling me he was being kicked out in 4 days. When I asked him what his Dad had said or what he should do, his reply? “He told me to call you”.
So why then do I feel like I’m the shit parent? Geez. He is so far up his Dad’s ass and it is starting to piss me off.
I battled the fucking MARINE CORP to save his bony ass because I love him and I know all good mothers would do the same and I would do it all again, but geez, give some credit where credit is due.
When I asked Mr. Piece of shit to request letters of recommendation from 2 people at his job that had worked with boy spawn he said no, he wouldn’t do it. When I asked him for their names so I could do it myself, he wouldn’t give them to me. Why? Because it would embarrass him at his job.
While I am so very excited that boy spawn was able to complete his training and can now move forward, I’m just a little disgusted.
Hey-boy spawn? Mr. Piece of shit left when you were 5 1/2 years old, I was 7 months pregnant with girl spawn and after telling me to quit my job and stay home to be a mom. He then spent almost 4 months “too busy” to see you. He regularly missed weekend visits with you and never used the mid week visits the judge gave him because it was “too hard”. With the exception of 1 payment, he didn’t pay for your 8th grade trip to Washington DC (but I let you let him take you to the airport because you said you wanted your Dad and it killed me but I did it). When I saved for 2 years to buy you and girl spawn a $1, 200.00 giant swing set he said he would pay for 1/2. He only gave me $200 bucks and that’s because I confronted him in front of your Grandpa. I never once in 12 years asked him for an increase in child support because I did not want anything to do with him, but when he lied to the IRS and got caught (trying to claim he was head of household and payed all the childcare costs) he caused me to be audited twice. He was never there to clean up your barf, take you to the doctor, wipe your tears or hold your hand when boys beat you up. He didn’t buy you your first jock strap or teach you how to pee in the toilet like a man. (He always sat to pee, like the pussy that he is) He wasn’t there to take you to soccer, football or baseball practice either. He didn’t teach you how to shave or tell you what a condom, an erection or a blow job was. (yup, he asked and yes, I was honest and yes I needed a drink after that conversation) He stole all your clothes whenever you went for a weekend visit and I was always forced to buy new ones because he was too lazy and cheap to buy clothes for you to wear when you visited and refused to return the ones that came with you. He didn’t bust his ass trying to find you the perfect therapist and medication to treat you for ADD or ODD or ADHD or bipolor or whatever other diagnosis were thrown around. It wasn’t easy since so many of the “experts” were freakshow nutjobs with “Dr.” in front of their names. He rarely showed up and when he did, he bitched about it. If I called him for help he would say “What do you want, my life is different now”. He didn’t take you to church and he didn’t help you with your homework. Your driver training classes? Yup, still waiting for him to pay for half. When I stupidly told him I was getting you driving lessons for your birthday, he told you as if it was from both of us, something he had done in the past when I wanted to buy you a cellphone for your birthday from both of us, he went out and bought it for you 2 weeks before your birthday. Refused to help pay for summer camp and when I didn’t have enough money to send you, Father Bruce and his wife took you and sponsored you. You slept on the floor on an air mattress when you visited your Dad for almost 5 years because he was too cheap and lazy to find a place to live in. Instead, he lived with his mommy (you know, the one who abused your sister by spanking her for wetting her pull up and when confronted began putting her in a closet as punishment?) Your Dad allowed it and Social Services investigated and there were findings of abuse and neglect against your Dad’s mother and against your Dad for neglect because he knew and did nothing. He didn’t pay for his half of medical or dental costs for almost 5 years.
Your piece of shit father has never helped me with either of you kids financially (only after I took him to court for child support) has talked some serious shit about me to both of you and even had the gall to tell you I left and divorced him. He left me holding the bag in so many ways and I have hoped and prayed you would have a good relationship with him so I guess I succeeded, but apparently I did such a good job that not only did it screw me, you believe he’s a good guy who is worthy of you.
I wish I wouldn’t have taken the high road and I woulda trashed Mr. Piece of shit and you would not be idolizing him as you do.
Anyway…this is pretty much what was written and posted on Facebook by yours truly, the bitter old pissed off mom.
I bet you’re understanding the bitter a bit more now, huh?
Yeah, I get it-motherhood is oftentimes a thankless job-but here’s the thing…
It’s not even that I want kudos and thanks from boy spawn, I just want him to realize that Mr. Piece of shit has never been there for him and did not do shit for him unless ordered to by a court of law.
It’s like he’s forgotten everything and behaves as if his Dad has always been there for him and it is fucking WRONG.
Eh…rant over, here’s my original post:
It means “Always Faithful” and is the motto of the Marine Corps.
I have so much to say here, but finding it hard to do without crying. It’s after 1:30 in the morning and I need to get up at 5:30 for work.
It’s impossible to make this short; I need to put it all down for it to make sense, even though none of it does.
I hope you’ll read it and share it. I need many to read this and maybe one of you out there can help. This may cause me to lose my anonymity, but the situation is desperate and I need all the help I can get.
I’m doing my best to not swear, which for those of you who have been reading my blog for the last year know, will be difficult since I have a trash mouth.
Mr. Wonderful and I visited boy spawn yesterday, Saturday, 7/30/16 at the Marine Corp Recruit Depot (MCRD) in San Diego. If you recall,my son joined the Marine Corp and started basic training on 1/4/16. This training is supposed to last 13 weeks.
Boy spawn is still there. He has not graduated.
I asked him yesterday if he;s ok with me writing about what’s happened to him. I know he is embarrassed by the personal nature of it all, but he has played nice so far and is being railroaded so he has given me permission to share all of this.
Three weeks into training, with Delta 1074 he started bleeding rectally. He kept his mouth shut for about 6 weeks because he didn’t want to be removed from his platoon. When another recruit noticed blood on the back of his pants, he knew he had to report it before someone else did.
Boy spawn was taken out of his platoon in the 10th week and moved to the Medical Rehabilitation Unit (MRP). Apparently carrying all the heavy equipment and the continuous strenuous exercise had caused a bleeding hemorrhoid. He received excellent care from the Marine Corp doctors and also met a Captain at one of his doctor appointments who had the same injury as him. After a few weeks at the MRP, he was told he would be placed into a new platoon to finish his final 3 weeks since his platoon had graduated without him.
Then he was sent to “Physical Conditioning Platoon”, (PCP) to ensure he was physically ready to be released, then a stop at “Routing” to determine where he would go to finish training.
It was at Routing that it all started.
For close to an hour, two Drill Instructors repeatedly asked him if he was gay. He said no over and over again, but they continued with comments like, “Did the bleeding stop because your boyfriend’s not around?”, and “Did it stop because he’s not ramming it up your ass?”, “C’mon, you can tell me”. Then one DI said he was calling the Senior DI and then referenced boy spawn on the phone as “the gay kid bleeding out of his ass”.
Boy spawn waited on a bench outside an office while one of the Routing DI’s had a conversation with a Senior Drill Instructor from Alpha 1013 which is where boy spawn was to complete his training.
He was then asked several times by the Senior Drill Instructor “Are you gay? , I’ve heard rumors”. Boy spawn told him repeatedly that he was not gay.
He was there at Alpha 1013 for 3 days and none of the other recruits spoke with him unless they had to. There was one recruit there from his old Delta 1074 who told others that boy spawn had rectal bleeding because he was gay and that he had heard this from a Drill Instructor. On the 3rd evening boy spawn was told he was under investigation. He was told he could call his Dad and check on his ill Grandmother but was not to tell his Dad about an investigation. To ensure this, the DI sat with him while he talked to his Dad. He was upset and his Dad knew something was wrong. The next day he was removed from Alpha 1013 and escorted back to Routing and the same two DI’’s were there. They were both laughing and said, “We remember you, back so soon?”, “That was fast”, and “Did you do it?” Boy spawn told them he didn’t know why he was there.
He was eventually told by an investigator that he was under investigation for sexual assault and sexual misconduct. A recruit at Alpha 1013 said boy spawn had grabbed his crotch. Eventually another said boy spawn looked at him in the shower, and a third said boy spawn asked him about his penis in the bathroom while the recruit was taking a dump. All three are friends; all three were in Alpha 1013 together. Boy spawn only knows the name of one of them.
The investigator yelled and told boy spawn he was going to prison if he didn’t waive his rights and talk to him. Boy spawn said he would not until he talked to a lawyer. He called his Dad and an attorney was hired.
He was moved to a unit called “Recruit Separation Platoon” (RSP) which is the platoon recruits are sent to while their paperwork is processed and they’re being sent home without completing basic training. These recruits are there because they quit or were caught fighting, stole food, admitted to using drugs, have depression issues, refuse to train or are unable to do so and they are done. This unit is not one that is thought highly of by others.
Boy spawn has been put in charge of these other recruits; the command staff has been good and fair with him. He works for them at the RSP and he has now been in the Marine Corp for almost eight months. He got a raise recently and his pay is comparable to that of a Lance Corporal. He’s a Marine, but he’s not. It is crazy and it’s as if he’s in prison but has committed no crime. He cannot leave to go anywhere and he cannot have company. He’s bored, as are the other recruits waiting to go home. We’ve been sending movies to him for them all to watch.
Last month boy spawn had orders to take the RSP recruits to eat and when another unit of recruits came to dinner, their Drill Instructor wanted boy spawn to get out of the way. When boy spawn explained he had orders to stay, the Drill Instructor became angry and physically assaulted him.
About a week after the assault, we were told the investigation was completed even though boy spawn had not given his statement. We were allowed to see him for an entire afternoon. We were then told there would be a new investigation and boy spawn would be interviewed. There would also be a separate investigation into the horrendous behavior of the Drill Instructors and a third investigation into the physical assault.
On Friday I was home sick in bed when boy spawn called me. I was foggy with sleep but from what I understood, a Lance Corporal, Corporal and Gunnery Sergeant brought him papers and he was ordered to sign/initial them. He was told he would be out of the Marine Corp by Tuesday. He didn’t quite understand why or what he could do. He said he had called his attorney and was told the attorney was out of town. Boy spawn’s Dad told him to call me.
Oh no you don’t, I will not let you screw with my kid.
I started calling every number I could find online for the MCRD. I called the Chaplains office and told a lady on the phone that my son needed help. Then a Major at the Western Regional Recruiting Office. Then the Public Affairs Office ; I told the Gunnery Sergeant that I was going to publicize what had happened to my son. Then I called our city Mayor, who is a great guy. He met with me and got me in touch with my Congressman, Ed Royce.
About two hours later I got a call from a Lieutenant Colonel who told me he was there with boy spawn. He told me that the initial investigation was complete and that the papers boy spawn had signed were part of the “process” and that in effect, boy spawn has the right to ask for a 3-person hearing, blah blah blah. Would not tell me anything about the investigation and I told him I had spoken with the city Mayor and also with my Congressman’s office.
I asked if I could see my son and said he would let me know. He told me I could speak with boy spawn privately, which I did. I promised my son that somehow, someway, this would be ok, that being a Marine does not define him that a year from now this will be over and he will survive it. Apparently, there were other people in the room listening to my conversation who had never identified themselves, just listened to me, the Lieutenant Colonel and boy spawn. When boy spawn returned the phone to the Lieutenant Colonel, I was told that I could visit from 12 to 2 pm the next day, which was yesterday.
Mr. Wonderful and I packed up some books and some movies. We stopped and bought lunch to take him. A Sergeant escorted us to where boy spawn was and told us he was under instructions to escort us to the gate at the end of the visit. I brought a release for him to sign so Congressman Royce’s office can help him. But it’s not enough. I am not going to put my faith in just one person when it comes to my son.
After we were escorted off the base, I realized we had left the release form, so we turned the truck around and went back in.
Then, Mr. Wonderful and I made a decision.
It’s clear to me that my son is expendable to the Marine Corp. He is nothing to them and it’s easier to get rid of him than to address the multiple problems they have in house. I am completely disgusted by how he’s been treated. His medical privacy has not just been violated multiple times, he has been viciously sexually harassed by command staff and because of their nasty homophobic comments and the environment they created, my son has suffered the consequences. Then for good measure, he’s physically assaulted. He is not only in danger of losing the dream he had; his entire future is at stake.
So we drove over to the fancy house that the Brigadier General lives at. Yes, we did. Knocked at the door several times and when no one answered, I left a note on the door asking for help.
Then we drove to one of the Colonel’s houses and knocked on the door. The Colonel didn’t seem happy initially and started talking about the chain of command and that it was inappropriate for us to speak with him. I apologized for coming to his home but told him I was desperate. I couldn’t help it. I started crying and asking him to please help me. I’m not ashamed to say that I begged him to help my son. When I started telling him about everything, he seemed surprised and said he had not heard of any of it. He seemed genuine and listened to me. I told him that my son has shown so much bravery throughout all of this and that my son IS a Marine. I begged him to please take a look at everything and that I didn’t want my son’s future destroyed and his spirit crushed. My hands were shaking when he asked for a pen and paper and wrote down the name and number for the Inspector General. He told me that I would be contacted on Monday. I want to believe him. I need to believe that someone will pull their head out of their rear and actually pay attention to what has happened here.
Isn’t it interesting that boy spawn was at Delta 1074 for 10 weeks with no problems whatsoever. Less than 5 days after his privacy is breached he is harassed multiple times, accused of being gay and suddenly 3 recruits say he looked at them or in the case of the first piece of trash, actually touched him.
Recruit #1: Apparently had an ice pack on his leg and when boy spawn hit it accidentally, it fell off. Boy spawn picked it up and put it back on the other recruit’s leg and said something like, “Sorry dude”.
Recruit #2: Says he looked while I was shaving my testicles in the shower. Seriously? Something like 10 recruits shower at the same time while the rest wait in line. He looked at you? They’re all naked, where do they all look, the ceiling?
Recruit #3: He’s sitting on the toilet and boy spawn asked him about his “penis”. Guys don’t talk to each other like that, particularly a 19 year old Marine recruit. They have lots of slang terms for their junk and penis is not one of them.
For this you will label my son a sexual predator? Affect his future?
I will not allow it. No, you will NOT do this to my son. .
The Marine Corp created this mess and they need to fix this mess.
He’s a good kid. He’s extremely bright and always has been. He was injured and because of his injury called gay and had his life turned upside down. He’s not gay; he is and has always liked girls and has had lots of girlfriends. He’s also not homophobic, like the Drill Instructors who should be severely punished for the hell they have put my son through. I raised my son to respect everyone.
My kid has a dream and because of ignorance and homophobia and a pack mentality he has been in limbo for close to four months. His name and reputation is in tatters because of the environment that should NOT exist in the Marine Corp.
After we left the base yesterday, I was able to talk to him on the phone. He told me the DVD player they had was broken. We had seen the TV the recruits were using, it looked like it was about 6”across. So this morning, on the way out of town, we bought a 10” portable DVD player and went back to the base. Didn’t expect to get in, but thought we would try anyway. Told the Marine at the gate what we wanted to do and he let us in. I was a wreck thinking we were gonna get thrown out. Drove over to the RSP and dropped it off. A boy there said “God Bless you” and it felt so good to do something nice for all of them.
I feel bad for all of those boys, but worse for my own. He does not deserve any of this. No one deserves this type of treatment. He was injured by no fault of his own and just wants to do the job he has been training for. The allegations are clearly based in miss-information, bias and gay bashing.
I asked him what he wants. Does he want out of the Marine Corp? An honorable discharge? A medical discharge?
No, he wants to finish his three weeks of training and be awarded his Marine Corp insignia, the eagle, globe and anchor.
Boy spawn has shown so many of the traits necessary to be a Marine-Integrity, loyalty, endurance and courage.
Semper Fidelis-always faithful? Certainly not to my son.