Have you ever just felt as if all the details of your life are just too much? More hours in the day are needed to do all the shit ya wanna do.
The last coupla months have been overwhelming. So much shit crammed into such a short amount of time.
I turned 50. Had my first birthday party and it was fun but it was lots of work too putting all the shit together.
All the drama with boy spawn and the Marine Corp. The driving, the letters, the Congressional shit, the phone calls, all of it was exhausting.
Planning my wedding. Wow. Still cannot believe I am now married. I have thank you cards to write but I can’t write yet with my right hand. Thank God Miss Fucking Manners says I have a year to do this shit.
Surgery on my hand. Really pisses me off that my hand feels worse now than it did before my surgery. I’m at week 3 post op and it hurts like a bitch to even try to open a door. How the hell I’ll ever be able to wipe my ass or tickle my dingle dangle is beyond me. Miss using my right hand, bein a lefty is a bitch.
Dealing with girl spawn and her period and the hell that goes with having a teenage girl.
Laundry and house cleaning and yard work and grocery shopping and clothes shopping and cleaning the garage and working on bills and cleaning out closets and drawers and getting together with friends and shit for girl spawn and goin to the post office which is a nightmare and time consuming and that’s-why-I-put-it-in-this-list…fuck it’s all just so damned draining sometimes, ya know?
Working full time for a company that has changed and turned into something I don’t feel as positive about any more. The work and the politics and ass kissing sucks shit. I’m happy to have a job and insurance and work in a nice building but my department feels more and more oppressive than ever before. Quantity over quality, “Get the money, get the money” and corners cut when they shouldn’t be pisses me off. The battling in my brain; do I wanna stay or do I wanna look elsewhere? Do I wanna work out of my home? Can I find something that will stimulate me and make me feel full and tickle my brain a bit? Blah blah blah
Do I want to do what I do anymore?
No, I don’t think I do. I started thinking about what I really want to do and it aint what I do now and have been doin since 2008.
I’m in my gazillion-th career and I’m bored all to hell. Ok, maybe not the gazillion-th, it’s the 4th…
The first career lasted about 10 years, the second about 11, the 3rd only about 4 and number 4 is pretty well cooked in terms of my interest.
So I made a list of shit I want to do for the rest of my life…it’s pretty short too (I really am a simple girl…no, not simple minded…well, maybe a bit.
- I would like to run a restaurant. Well, more of a bar/grill… I have some ideas…(don’t we all?) I’m thinkin a place for us over 30’s. Pool, darts, TV’s, sports, good drinks, bar kinda food and music on the weekends. Not a teeny bopper place, a place for grown ups. No girls with boobs hangin out and no bar fights.
- I want to just write and create BOCL shit…this is something I really enjoy doing. Finding the time (and now the damn hands) to do it all is a bitch.
Now I need to figure out how the hell to do it.
Bank robbery?…nah, I don’t look good in orange and that’s the color of the jumpsuit I would havta wear.
Hooker?…nah, not much of a demand for a 50 year old PTA mom hooker.
Hmmm…need to work on this one…
I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
Stop me if I try to trade in my jeep for a flashy convertible or look for a lover in his 20’s…