It’s happening…
I got a bug up my ass and decided to get it in gear and try to give more time and energy to BOCL.
Hard to do, I work full time, working on remodel stuff at house, trying to study for a work related test, prep for wedding, prep for 50th birthday party (yup, I’m having a party, have never had one in my life and I wanna celebrate being ancient) and still keep up with children of the corn and Mr. Wonderful.
Throw a lack of money into the mix and trying to start/grow BOCL has been a bitch.
Soooo…
I applied to Google adsense for ads to run here, thinking they would not consider me at all since the website is so new and not a lot of traffic yet and they responded and sent me a bunch of shit I don’t understand because I only speak basic computer.
All I want to do is write and Facebook and tweet and post on instagram and have fun with BOCL.
So many things I want to do.
I want shit to be smooth and easy and I wanna as Nike says, “Just do it”.
Fuck…you know what this ad stuff means?
$…a lot of $ because I gotta pay my wonderful computer guy to set it up.
Shit.
Then hopefully as BOCL grows I can try and make a little money.
A girl can dream, right?
I am the most impatient pain in the ass I know.
Oy vay.
The wedding…
I admit it…I have some fears and anxiety.
Not about whether or not I love him or he loves me, I feel so good about that.
Its…
His kids.
My kids.
Finances.
He is so kind and loving and I worry that he is sometimes taken advantage of.
Our differences, politically, socially, musically.
He’s a diehard follow the party anywhere Republic and I’m an independent.
The arguments we have had over Trump have been epic and frustrating.
He likes Linkin Park for fucks sake. All that screaming and calling it music bugs the shit outta me.
I love cats (uh hello?) dogs and anything with 4 legs and fur. When we first met I lied and told him I had “a couple cats”. I had 5 and 3 were orange tabbies so I figured he’d never notice.
He could do without pets. Likes em, but prefers none.
We are Oscar and Felix from the Odd Couple and it is sometimes fucking irritating.
His slobbiness drives me bonkers and I am no picnic to live with either.
I am picky, anal retentive, emotional, neurotic, pushy, loud and I’m a huge nag.
I sometimes feel bad for him that he’s stuck with me.
You always here about people who live together and it’s great until they get married.
I sometimes wonder if we should just stay as we are, shackin up.
At heart I’m an old fashioned kinda chick and being married feels like the natural order of things.
Sigh…
Just read what I have written and I really need to up my antidepressants and drink more wine
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