Gettin hitched…
Holy shit, I never thought I would do this again and here I am, only a few months away from it.
Appropriate day to do this-April fools day…shit, Mr. Wonderful knows me so well, he proposed on April fools day and to keep things easier, we decided to do it on the same date…shit, who’m I kiddin, it’s on the same date so he won’t forget the date.
I’m scared…and excited, shocked, irritated, happy, and lastly..nervous…Feelin all this shit about gettin hitched can be exhausting all by itself.
Venue, flowers, rings, dresses, shoes, invitations, food, license and of course, the most important, the alcohol, fuck me to tears, gettin married is a big ass job!
When I think back to the person I was almost 14 years ago I’m shocked that I’m her. I cannot even believe how different I am now from then.
Then, I was wringin my hands and crying all the time. Now, the only reason I wring my hands is if I run outta wine or can’t find the corkscrew. I was such a damn victim then and I tell you, never again will I allow anyone to shit on me and make me feel like I’m not important and fabulous and damned wonderful.
Pretty cool shit, finding the one you’re supposed to be with. Don’t get me wrong, he’s just a man and he bugs the crap outta me, especially when it comes to politics, but I know that he loves me and I love him and I can’t imagine my life without him.
I’m shocked that we’re here. Didn’t know what he wanted, he was back and forth and I was hangin on for dear life tryin to be patient cuz I knew he was “the one”. When I finally decided I was done with his stupid man-ness, he was ready to rock and roll.
So here I am, planning a wedding….my wedding…makes me wanna kinda giggle just a teensy bit.
All this prep work is a pain in the ass though. Gettin married in the back yard seemed like such a good idea at the time, but when we sat down and figured this shit out, geez, too much damn money. I mean for cryin out loud, I’m 50, he’s 55 and the traditional big poofy white dress thing was done by me once before and what a fucked up nightmare that turned into, ya know?
Anyway, the backyard thing was getting to damned big and too crazy, not too mention I would have to be the one to clean all the shit up the next day, so forget that.
Three out of his four daughters live in Arizona or Nevada, the fourth is in Washington, so we’re packin up and doin it in Nevada. The crappy part is that I’m only inviting about 40 people, instead of the 100 I was gonna do in the yard and if they wanna come they have to get a hotel room.
I know, who the hell has 100 close friends? It’s not that I was close to all of em, but I felt bad leavin anyone out and I love a big ass party…I just don’t wanna pay for it and I don’t wanna clean it up.
Married…hilarious…just sayin out loud that I’m gonna be Mrs. Wonderful makes me laugh a little.
Yep, I think I’m gonna do the whole change your name thing too…for all my foul, loud mouth-ness, I’m a little bit traditional and old fashioned.
I already feel married as it is…I say this as I sit here typing and Mr. Wonderful has fallen asleep on the couch behind me and is snoring loudly.
I can’t complain, I snore too. I always thought I did but wasn’t sure-until he taped me on his phone and played it for me.
Big weiner…I also talk in my sleep…
Imagine that.
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